breaking camp

yes, i realize i haven't filled in the middle yet, but these things come as they may. deal with it. maybe i'll edit it into a chronological manner someday...
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i rode my chopper home on monday after spending the temple burn with tam. upon awakening, her camp was busy with tear-down and i rather expected my campmates to be wondering where i was for assistance.

the ride across the playa was calm, quiet. plumes of smoke rising from the platforms as people burned out their camps. i found myself stopping every twenty yards or so to collect some bit of garbage; glowsticks, bottlecaps, bits of fibers, paper, handiwipes, and my third feather for the event. thirst, and drink deep from my camelback. the city is already breaking apart, the population down and the smoke everywhere signals that camps are gutting themselves. its a group seppuku. death is not imminent, but i feel it settling on the playa.

roll into camp and we are not all awake. i set to work at once.

still, its all about the piles. moving them, organizing them, turning them upside down, and cramming them into containers...

i don't want to talk about that though. what i want to talk about is what i was alluding to above.

after an hour and a half or so of dome-breaking and sorting and packing, i climbed the top of ian's rv to observe the exodus. its about 9:30 i suppose, maybe 10ish and the line of cars runs out to about 8:00 on the city map. i turn and face the sun.

heat. warmth. light. smoke. laughter. sirens. clanging of metal. hammers. dust.

tears.

my god.

again.

i look for my family. i see my camp below in progress of discession. i look across the city blocks and the astral vortex parachute is still standing. the other way, smoke rises from behind monkeypuzzle.

i think of who i did not see; those who i know were not here, those who were but never crossed paths. i think of the ones i did see from afar and could never get close enough, or were close enough but still so far away. it's heartbreak time, and not just for me. i've felt it and i've listened. its the break-up, the moving on, and feel it in me again. i miss all the hers and hims and who will always own a piece of me. again. still.

the sun is on my upturned face, its warm and i break sweat. i hum a bit and choke and sniffle and the tears all run freely down my face and chin and neck, and its not pain or anguish...

its gratitude.

my life with you. your time with me.

our time together.

thank you all.

my god. look what we've wrought.


[image from 2005]

too much, too little, too late - recap

i took no photos. no notes. all i have is memory, so its time to chomp out some words...

we set off in the afternoon of friday august 25th, ambitious and starry-eyed. travel was easy and good company. i had the heavy load and so was likely the slowest and led our caravan with astrogirl in the passenger seat. ian followed in his rv. tineke, erin and josh took up the rear.

we crested mount hood and turned our noses south. lunch in la pine was... acceptable. heading southeast, we hit the silverlake basin as twilight turned to dusk, just barely catching the golden hour against the oregon backcountry rimrocks. night fell and ian dropped out of the caravan with a broken water pump.

rolled into summer lake hot springs just before the several monkey puzzlers joined us for a dip; brindle, gata, zak. shippy is there, i had first met him at this very spot two years prior. ralph and peter were present and on their way from eugene. we take a dip, are refreshed and ready to go on, spirits are high and we all just want to Be There already.

south to alturas for gas and then on eastward. i stop in the high desert scrub about 25 miles before gerlach to inspect the night sky. tineke scoffs and motors on. 'see you there!' and she is off.

here, there in no ambiant light. no sound. just us, the desert, and the heavens. the canopy is filled... mind you, filled with stars. all i can think is, 'yes'.

yes.

we hit the gate at four a.m.

we roll into astral vortex and park. astrogirl and i walk through the barricaded and unfinished center camp and out to the man, still on sawhorses. the giant thing in the distance calls us, and we set off for the temple.

we walked through the temple, missing it for what it was, and straight out to the message out of the future. as i walked, i thought "oh my god the temple is asymetrical. and huge."

as it turned out it was not the temple, but a five story tall freeform shape made of reject lumber from canada and held together with three inch brads. truely huge and mind-blowing. i inspect around the base and see that it is built upon layers of fiberglass. "they're going to burn this" i say aloud while i fantasize about the nature of such a thing. i will not know for nine days that my imagination does not come close.

walking back to the city, we stop again at the man. finding something to write with, i find a place in his chest and close to his heart and write:

"kadenz warpup owns his heart"

returning to a/v, we unload astrogirl's gear and then drive out to our campsite where i find the starlight scoffers asleep on the ground.

its saturday morning. the sun is up.

time to go to work.

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